⚠️ WARNING: Collecting these may cause extreme productivity, enhanced IQ, and unexpected bursts of sarcasm.
The action figure trend hit the internet like a tidal wave. But while others were letting some sketchy app auto-generate Barbie clones, I built a supercomputer, designed the figures myself, and unleashed Preston from across the multiverse.
Welcome to the Prestonverse Collection — where every variant of me is ready to save a different dimension (or at least clean the pool).
🏋️ Rucking Pro Preston (White Vest Variant)
- Equipped with Wolf Tactical weighted vest in Arctic White
- Signature orange Apple Ultra 2 ruck-tracker
- Hydration: Bucked Up pink shaker for max endurance
- Limited edition packaging for elite-tier loadouts only
🏋️ Rucking Pro Preston
- Weighted vest mode: ON
- Personal best: 105 lbs rucked with zero excuses
- Accessories: Bucked Up shaker + indestructible legs
💻 Elon Slayer Preston
- Now with Terminal Muskosis Vaccine™
- Features: Steel confidence + fact-based payload
- Action: Disproves hype with a single quote
🌌 Multiverse Enforcer Preston
- Cosmic guardian with infinite variants
- Weapons: Glowing baton, Bucked Up cup
- Catchphrase: “Fitness ain’t fiction.”
🔧 Pool Dimension Defender Preston
- Armed with the Chlorine Blaster 9000
- Sidekick: SKIM-TRON, robotic cleaner with sass
- Poseable net arm for maximum algae elimination
🏕️ Appalachian Cabin Preston
- GoPro-ready
- Comes with “Triangle Vent” nostalgia dialogue chip
- Outfit: Tactical throwback flannel
💾 Supercomputer Operator Preston
- Triple-monitor command center
- RTX-powered wrist console
- Voice button: “Run diagnostic.”
🪖 Desert Ops Preston
- Equipped with Tactical Vest and Desert Boots
- Accessories: Bucked Up Shaker + Violet Energy Saber
- Bonus: Sand-resistant rifle with zero Elon-compatible parts
🌌 Multiverse Enforcer Preston (Retro Core Variant)
- Portal-powered plasma blaster
- Galaxy-grade Bucked Up hydration unit
- Zero-shirt protocol: Enforces fitness across timelines
